Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Is it ok for someone to crossdress in public?

I can read

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know who the president of Turkey really is

What did Chandrashekhar Azad say about Hinduism during a podcast?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

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I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Is Twilight appropriate for a 12-year-old?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What does 'Whose flesh is like the flesh of donkeys’ mean (Ezekiel 23:20)?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Can a bride cheat on her groom at a wedding?

I can count

I don’t buy bullshit

I have a reading level above third grade

Why do some people prefer watching movies than reading novels even if they are both based on the same source material (book)?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t cotton to rapists

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Isn't it a turn on to have sex with a girl in a skirt or in a tight spandex?

I see through liars

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Can you share the entire summary of your spiritual life?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y